5:01 p.m. - 2007-02-04
Sunday Morning
Sunday morning...I got a good night sleep last night. Went to see the doc and he gave me some sleeepy bye pills. Night before didn't get a wink of sleep, evening though I stayed up untill 3:00 am on secondlife.
I cried a lot yesterday morning. And bought a book called Living Succesfully with Screwed-Up people. I read some of it in Denny's and it made me cry...
I still love wife. Let's call her Flora. As for Mandi hte online buddy, I told her last night that she won't get to see me yet because I need time to heal and get my head straight. She was not happy.
Oh well, but it is completely true. I need to think less about my next romantic conqeust and more about saving my marriage. Flora kept all comers at bay for 10 years, and that was hardly trying...If I could feel a deep love and passion from her - we'd last a lifetime.
I jacked off four times last night to try and get to sleep. But beyond that I'm not thinking of sex hardly at all. No stirring in the loins..
I went to see Flora last night but she wasn't there and all the lights were out. I went in and it looked like she'd gone to her wimmin's thing.
I'd called twice and phone went straight to voice mail...And she hasn't replied to email.
I hope she's okay. She probably is...but with her not replying or talking to me - makes it a little more real, and scary. I left her a note saying I want her to think of this as a trial seperation, and that I'd like to take her out on a date sometime.
This morning I'm going to go to Java Jones (if its not been turned into a Starfucks) and read that book more.
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